Why do you continue to self sabotage with damaging negative thoughts, beliefs and behaviors about yourself?
Sabotage is painful- you can see what you want and never get there! Why do we this?
Here’s 7 behaviors that create self-sabotage and guarantee unhappiness in their life. So, read on to see if you have been taking any of these 7 steps that will lead to depression, unhappiness & dissatisfaction and find out why you are blocking the experience of a good life.
For many, these negative behaviors (negative generating outcomes) 7 steps have become so ingrained in our personality, personal beliefs, and subconscious that we don’t believe there is any other way to exist so we just act them out and self-sabotage our lives. Since these thoughts feel like “us” these beliefs become self-sustaining. When the following issues are unexposed they remain very powerful influences on your life until you reveal and change them.
Ask yourself if you’re angry that others don’t “make” you happy. The unconscious thoughts you accept and do not challenge are the true drivers in your life. If you understood how they were substantially contributing to your unhappy experience of life you would strive to change them rather than worrying about some other inconsequential problem
Ok, ready? Here’s the most common self-sabotaging steps that guarantee the experience of unhappiness in your life!
- Step 1. You blame everybody else and everything else in your past for why you are unhappy today. Then you justify that feeling by constantly emphasizing all of the bad experiences of your past in this moment. And refocusing on those thoughts are making you sad, angry, frustrated or any other feeling which diffuses your vitality and life energy.
- Those thoughts distance you from the responsibility to move forward in life today. This works exceptionally well as an excuse because you can always justify today (and tomorrow) why you are unhappy and miserable. You choose to ignore the truth that your interpretation of these past events is now under your control. There is a positive lesson even in the most unpleasant experiences. You reject life lessons, repeating them endlessly rather than choosing to learn the lesson and move forward and leave the experience in the past.
- Step 2. You look for the bad in everything including looking for the worst in people. Find the worst news on TV and watch it over and over and over again. Gossip with your friends and neighbors about other people. Look for rumors and innuendo and spread them. Commiserate with other like-minded people in a great circle of misery and compare “war stories” about how bad your life is and who made it this way and why you hate them.
- Step 3. You are determined to hold onto anger and resentment and frustration at all costs. Give them all of your energy so that there is nothing positive to hold onto during the day. Find ways to reinforce all the mistreatment you have suffered and continue to focus on that. Let the beauty of life that exists in this moment be wiped out by experiences from your past or worries about your future.
- Step 4. You choose to cultivate dysfunctional coping behaviors to hide from your emotions, rather than going through the sometimes unpleasant experiences of feeling unworthy, unloved, unimportant or any other human experience. Cover them up with short-term, stopgap, state changing measures, even if these measures detract from your health and ability to experience a good life.
- Step 5. You try to distract yourself from unpleasant feeling and fill your emotional holes with relationships. So you chase relationships that are unhealthy for you. Or, stay in relationships that are damaging to you psychologically, emotionally, and/or physically. Then blame the other person for being who they are. Keep trying to change them and put all your energy into looking for external “solutions” to your situation. This effectively stops you from taking responsibility for yourself and moving forward in life. This goes very well with step 4 of continuing dysfunctional coping behaviors. The longer you do this the longer you ensure you’re miserable- so this is a very powerful step in maintaining misery.
- Step 6. You make sure to compare yourself every day with somebody who has more money, is in better shape, is prettier or more handsome, and is more “successful” in every single way than you. Make sure that you put yourself down constantly through this comparison. This selective comparison will absolutely do its job and keep you in misery.
- Again, this serves a purpose. It stops us from taking action. Taking action from our heart-center is how we change our lives. If we are distracted by either comparison or this selective perspective of the world we feel that we are powerless and when we feel that we are powerless we use that as an excuse not to change.
- Step 7. Invite a spiral of dysfunction into your life. Don’t challenge negative thoughts- just believe them and let them go unchallenged. Do not self-reflect to see why you continue to use dysfunctional coping behaviors-every day. Continue to ruminate every minute about all the misgivings and mistakes you made in life. Keep asking yourself why does this always happen to you? Make sure you haven’t missed blaming anybody. Make sure you pass the buck and never take personal responsibility for changing your life. Make sure you feed your anger and frustration every day and make sure that you push yourself to stay in the most toxic environment you can find. Find more toxic friends to stay with. Put yourself in more toxic environments, eat toxic food, take toxic actions, and then blame somebody else for you for what you’re doing. It’s perfect.
- And… here’s the Bonus Steps: Make sure that you constantly reinforce the idea that your current view of the world is the only truth that exists. Do not allow the possibility into your life that there are other more powerful and empowering belief systems and more empowering ways to look at the world. Never question your own beliefs and perceptions- especially if they are contrary to what you’re experiencing right now. Believe that your experience is the “only experience” and then live from this place as if it was the ultimate truth.
Then, to really lock onto these sabotaging beliefs you make sure that you are completely affected by everybody’s opinion of you. Make sure that you live your life like a flag lolling back and forth in the breeze blowing this way and that depending on the latest criticism, critique, or comments about you. Care more about their view of you your view of yourself. Give up your personal integrity and try to appease everybody in every way. This will ensure that your very valid needs are completely forgotten about and this gives you something else to complain about.
If you follow the above steps, you guarantee a life of misery and pain. If you are ready to step out of living a miserable life, and stop living a life that is a shadow of what it could be the first step is admitting and then moving past the problem. Remember, the steps listed above are what most people have been taught to do in life even though the results show it doesn’t. You can choose to live a different life!
When you are ready to take control of your life you don’t have to wait. It’s simply the difference between 4:00 o’clock and 4:01.
You can spend your whole life waiting for that miraculous minute to show up before you change and all the time that opportunity, that 1 minute shift that is the catalyst for a different experience of life, was in your control. The moment is always here just waiting for you to make a shift.
Change is in your power, when will it finally be the right time for you?
You allow the experience of happiness to flow through you by focusing on gratitude and awareness in this moment.
Having trouble getting through this experience, call Don.